THOUGHTS ON REJECTING REJECTION


In a blog that he first published in August of 2011 on the subject of rejection, artist Robert Genn quoted  author and historian Steven Pressfield: “Evolution has programmed us to feel rejection in our guts. This is how the tribe enforced obedience, by wielding the threat of expulsion. Fear of rejection isn’t just psychological; it’s biological. It’s in our cells.”

I’ve spent a lot of time over the years thinking about rejection, as both a student and a teacher. I’ve learned that it doesn’t take much for folks in either category to give up too soon. Goodness knows I have. Try for that date part in the school play? Try for that job? Try for that place on the team? Try for that (fill in the blank)? Hard to do with the specter of rejection haunts you.

I’ve read a lot of theories about why fear of rejection can paralyze us and I’ve formed a few of my own (mostly, I’m afraid, having to do with how I was raised, but that’s a story for another time).  Pressfield’s theory is the first one that’s resonated with me mostly, I suspect, because it doesn’t lay blame anywhere. (See previous sentence.)

My reasoning will sound convoluted to some, but to my way of thinking, it can be easier to fight a fear of rejection if what I’m fighting is what evolution has programmed into me. After all, there’s neither blame nor guilt involved–two traits that to me are like an impenetrable fortress in any of the books by George R. R. Martin.

Pressfield’s quote has empowered me to try a couple of things. Sorry; not ready to divulge them yet. But I’ll let you know if I make any progressIMG_0057A Question of Control

Oil on Canvas

Author: Judy Westergard

Retired English teacher, self-taught painter, inveterate reader and still lovin' my Kindle!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s